So last night I decided to share Maddie's birthstory...tonight I finish it and then recap briefly the past eight months..
So I am enroute to the new hospital and contractions are building, in my mind I am thanking God that I took my Lamaze classes earlier than I had wanted to. As we pull into the entrance of the hospital I realize that we are going to a different hospital then I thought, you see one hosptial is memorial campus and one university campus. In between holding my breath and contracting I manage to tell the nurse that my mother and Kenny will be going to the other hosptial...uh oh. The EMTs bring me to labor and delivery where they decide they have no time to check me in because I am screaming in pain..then in between contractions I manage to apologize for my inability to control myself. I get into my room and insist on walking to the bathroom to pee and they let me...bad news..contractions are worse and I am still alone. A nurse asks me if I am interested in pain meds ( I am about 7 cm and its 645am). I shout NO, I do not want an epidural. The nurse responds "we can do other meds besides the epidural" and I ask "like what"....few more contractions where I become the worlds worst patient, holding my breath giving the bed the death grip. A nurse looks at me and says "I really think you should consider the epidural" and I say "fine"..as soon as this happens Kenny walks in..still doped from pain meds himself...I say "I'm sorry babe, I have to get the epidural" (we were trying to go natural), the nurse says "nope your not, and dad do you want to see the head" now it is 7 am...four contractions later I see my baby and my reaction "oh my gosh SHE has a huge cone head" Kenny cut her cord and spoke with the hundreds (I'm exaggerating) on specialists. Maddie did cry and was beautiful.....after a quick recovery for myself I was allowed to see my baby, Kenny wheeled me up to find my daughter doing well in the NICU. She was havin some problems breathing but they were going to let her try to build her lungs with out intervention. After a hour up there I went back to my room....I will add a side note right here...Preemie moms should not have to stay on a maternity floor with termies and their families..
We had visitors from the second we could to see Maddie as long as they were healthy...by the middle of the day Maddie was given an oxyhood to help open her lungs. That first night was horrible not for Madalyn but for me....I woke up every few hours in tears...I missed Maddie inside of me....I missed that special bond that only I had with Maddie..You know those times when it is quiet and you could touch your belly and know that you had a child growing...Kenny was my rock, he would allow me to go visit her in the middle of the night. The second day in NICU we had a downslide, Maddie needed nasal canula and IV in belly...after day two things got easier and Maddie grew stronger..to sum it up..5 days nasal cannula, 1 day bili lights, 8 days heated bed, three days isolette, 2 1/2 day in "normal crib"...eating was never an issue. We left the hosptial at day 14 with Maddie weighing in at 4lb 6 oz, down 2 oz from birth, and 17 3/4 in (down from 18 1/2..the conehead).
Maddie has done great since coming home, part because I became hypervigilant about sick people and germs...Developmental she is in between adjusted and actual age....weight and height she has caught up, maybe on the smaller side but still on the charts for actual (25%tile)
I have stuggled with more anxiety than I ever thought I could have....I may even coddle her too much....here are some thoughts on how i experienced it
1. NO one tells you how tough it is to lose the baby in the womb feeling, I missed being pregnant for weeks (even though Maddie was with me)
2. My aerobics DID NOT cause my daughters premature birth, and everytime someone says that they reinforce the guilt that I already experience daily.
3. Telling me everything is going to be fine doesn't help. Let me voice my concerns and just listen even if they are extreme and unlikely.
4. My dream job is now to be a NICU social worker and create more enhanced support groups for preemie moms.
5. My biggest fear is having more preemie children.
So there you have it...Maddies birth story and brief successes....Now I will be able to focus more on day to day life with Madalyn Rose. I am also going to post some pics as soon as I figure out how......
Thanks for reading about my Maddie.
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I 100% agree with you and the fact preemie moms should not be on the same floor as term moms. I actually was not able to see my twins until 24 hours after having them through emergency c-section. I asked to pump asked for the machine and go nothing and when the nurse finally came in like 20 hours later she was mad at me, and said she would get to me as soon as she could. I just had my babies I was in on the third floor not even in L&D or Maternity and I just wanted to pump cause I felt that was the only thing I could do as a parent. I was in the hospital for 4 days total after having them and 3 days before having them. And, that was the hardest.
ReplyDeleteThank you for sharing your story. I am on the preemie board with you on Babycenter